It has been so long since I’ve opened the door to possibility
Constantly running from the fear and ever present insecurity
Settling into complacency, no need for introspection
The journey of desire has only resolved into rejection
Suffering in silence while barely surviving
Getting by and pressing through, not living…not thriving
Telling myself I’ve accomplished much and should be settled in my truth
While choking every chance for change, killing the dreams of my youth
How did this become the very essence of my being?
To not want, to not desire…it’s safer, but not freeing.
I feel strained, chained; held captive in this cycle I create
Blaming everyone else for the condition of my fate
So this new trajectory before me
Will I allow myself to just be?
In the midst of the yearning
Will I finally allow this process to be one of learning?
I will shed the armor I’ve worn, risking and taking the chance
To live my desired life
To stop existing by happenstance