Sunday, January 25, 2009

a year ago

she finally let go

in one moment she drifted away

her strength i admired

her body so tired

from the fight she endured each day

her soul was full

didn't take any bull

took life on life's terms, no matter what

and as her heart looked toward

the rugged point of her sword

she laid it down as her eyes slowly shut

she didn't lose the fight

her goal always in sight

to live, love, laugh and tell her story in song

she won in the end

she was a mom, daughter, sister and friend

and everyone who knew her will carry her memory on

There are times in life when your heart simply connects with another...sometimes it's immediate. You can't explain it. It's not always romantic, sometimes it is...other times it's as if you were somehow separated at birth and just drawn to one another life family.

That was how it was with Jeannie. Everyone who knew her was instantly drawn to her. She was a source of life and everyone wanted to be around her.

Thank you Jeannie for letting your soul shine so brightly in our world.

I miss you still.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Ok, so I should be's so late and the kids could wake and I have to be up early...yada, yada, yada! But, here I am. So, time to write to all of my anonymous friends out there in cyber space about the intimate inner details of my life. Funny how we do that, isn't it. I guess it's like an on-line diary for anyone to read...well, here's my entry for tonight.

" Dear Diary, getting over pneumonia, last day on steroids, missed a few days at work...glad to be getting back to real life. Too much down time for me takes my brain and my mood to weird places. Work is really stressful and busy. Kids started their new session of Pre-School this week. My good friend turned 40 today (but she doesn't look a day over 25!). I decided to check my myspace page tonight (haven't done that in forever) and I had an email message from my first boyfriend 20 years ago. Yes, yes, yes...I dated a lot of us did when we were exploring sexual intimacy and relationships on that journey of self discovery...let's see, it took me about 2 more years before my first female relationship...and then I dated both men and women for the next 10 years. But that was really about my own internalized homophobia and my own fear....oh well, I digress. So anyhow, my first boyfriend is married, lives in Arkansas and has two kids. Yea for him! I am one, as most of you know, that strongly believes that we have people in our lives for a reason...some for a time, some for a specific reason, some for life, etc...and I believe that if we have a love for someone at any point in our lives, it's for a purpose. Even if that romantic love ends and our lives go separate ways, I always hold a love and fondness for that person. That is why I am friends with most of my exes. Now, I know...not all of you agree and some of you think it's weird, but...if I loved that person and was with them for a period of time, there must have been a reason in the first place...sometimes we all get ahead of ourselves. I have a really great friend Jyl and she and I dated...we just didn't work and we make much better friends. Anyhow, I think that caring for people doesn't stop once you realize that the two of you are not life long intimate soul mates! I say all of that because I was thinking back (20 years ago) and thinking of Danny and what I really liked about him was his easy going way, his humor and his zest for life. It appears (from his myspace page) that he still has all of good for him. I'm happy for him. It looks like he has a good woman that keeps him on track (he kind of needs that) and enjoys hobbies and such and has a daughter and a son. WoW! Amazing how we can find out so much about people these days because we all publicize it on the internet through myspace or facebook or our very own blog. Crazy! Well, I wrote Danny back and maybe we'll chat here and there. Funny how people pop up again.
Alright Diary...that's it for now...better hit the sack!
P.S. I was looking through some old photos of the kids and the pic above made me laugh. I love the different expressions on both of their little faces. Though I'd know, just for kicks and giggles. - Me"

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas...

Well, we made it to MN for a white Christmas and had a blast!! The kids played in the snow, went sledding, built a snowman and made snow angels. However, all the fun happened in about 30 minutes and then we had to get back into the house before we froze. It was like 7 degrees or something. It was so beautiful though. It snowed and snowed and I even caught snowflakes on my tongue! I know, I know...I'm such a California girl...but I think I should have been born in the midwest, I just love it! I have to say's such a hastle getting all bundled up every time you want to go outside for goodness gracious sakes! C, our boy, was so picken frustrated with the time it spent to get on our snow pants, boots, hat, scarf, mittens, jacket...etc! He was ready to play and by the time we opened the door he was just about over it. Little T could have stayed out all day...she's got her Mama's blood, not mine. She loved it! We also had an awesome time with T's family. One thing learned...never take a night flight home...insane!

Here are a few pics.