the house is quiet.

i thought i heard them calling for me in the other room

but they are not here

my heart

it's so full - yet void

they get plucked from my arms, from our family, over and over and over again

it leaves me empty and so broken

and the quietness, the absence - it is unsettling, for it is not what is meant to be. my family is meant to be together. my family: Me, Missy, C and T.

If I feel so broken and empty when they leave, how must they feel. Oh, their tender little hearts.

We had a wonderful Christmas - a wonderful time together, time with Missy's family and with my family - it was great....and then, we return and they are gone - this time for 10 days. They are traveling to MN to visit Mama Tracy's family. That is good for them. They love them. They will have fun.

I miss them -

greatly.

I heard this quote tonight: "In order for the light to shine bright -the darkness must be present." I believe that feeling the deepest pain, is what also allows us to feel the highest joys. But some days, i just cry - weep really, because it hurts to the core. They are a part of me - and every few days a part of me disappears.

But again...we will get through this day. One day at a time. One moment at a time if need be. I am so grateful for my love Missy - and for my sweet boy and beautiful girl.