I'm so grateful and I hope I remember each day all the many blessings in my life. What are you grateful for?
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
WOW...it's been a VERY long time since I've posted on my blog. Today is a new day. Lots has happened & rather than drudge up the past, I'm just going to stay focused on the present and the future. The kids are 5 and they started Kindergarten. They love it. They are SO big now. I'm so proud of them. They are both doing SO well. I'm in the process of rebuilding...from the ruins...and I am starting with very foundational matters. It's difficult...to rebuild after loss, damage and destruction...but not impossible. With God's help, my life will become all that it is meant to become and it will be better than I could ever imagine. I am learning a lot...about myself, my past behaviors, my patterns and the kind of person I want to be. Change is in order as things did NOT work previously. I am finally realizing the illness is within my mind, so it's time to change my thinking. I am building new support systems and I'm very grateful for my family; both chosen and blood related. My close friends who I can be totally honest and real with...well, they mean more to me than they could ever know. And then there's my amazing fiance Missy. She is the most non judgmental, patient, kind, understanding person I've ever met. Most times I feel unworthy of her love and devotion...but that's about me and my perceptions and I need to stop beating myself up. I've spent way too long trying to prove I'm important...trying to gain acceptance...trying to please others....so that maybe then, just maybe...I'll be good enough. Well, no more of that...it doesn't work. I need to find the place inside that believes I am good enough and that I don't have to prove it to anyone. I'm walking that journey now.