Ok, so I should be sleeping...it's so late and the kids could wake and I have to be up early...yada, yada, yada! But, here I am. So, time to write to all of my anonymous friends out there in cyber space about the intimate inner details of my life. Funny how we do that, isn't it. I guess it's like an on-line diary for anyone to read...well, here's my entry for tonight.
" Dear Diary, getting over pneumonia, last day on steroids, missed a few days at work...glad to be getting back to real life. Too much down time for me takes my brain and my mood to weird places. Work is really stressful and busy. Kids started their new session of Pre-School this week. My good friend turned 40 today (but she doesn't look a day over 25!). I decided to check my myspace page tonight (haven't done that in forever) and I had an email message from my first boyfriend 20 years ago. Yes, yes, yes...I dated men...as a lot of us did when we were exploring sexual intimacy and relationships on that journey of self discovery...let's see, it took me about 2 more years before my first female relationship...and then I dated both men and women for the next 10 years. But that was really about my own internalized homophobia and my own fear....oh well, I digress. So anyhow, my first boyfriend is married, lives in Arkansas and has two kids. Yea for him! I am one, as most of you know, that strongly believes that we have people in our lives for a reason...some for a time, some for a specific reason, some for life, etc...and I believe that if we have a love for someone at any point in our lives, it's for a purpose. Even if that romantic love ends and our lives go separate ways, I always hold a love and fondness for that person. That is why I am friends with most of my exes. Now, I know...not all of you agree and some of you think it's weird, but...if I loved that person and was with them for a period of time, there must have been a reason in the first place...sometimes we all get ahead of ourselves. I have a really great friend Jyl and she and I dated...we just didn't work and we make much better friends. Anyhow, I think that caring for people doesn't stop once you realize that the two of you are not life long intimate soul mates! I say all of that because I was thinking back (20 years ago) and thinking of Danny and what I really liked about him was his easy going way, his humor and his zest for life. It appears (from his myspace page) that he still has all of that....so good for him. I'm happy for him. It looks like he has a good woman that keeps him on track (he kind of needs that) and enjoys hobbies and such and has a daughter and a son. WoW! Amazing how we can find out so much about people these days because we all publicize it on the internet through myspace or facebook or our very own blog. Crazy! Well, I wrote Danny back and maybe we'll chat here and there. Funny how people pop up again.
Alright Diary...that's it for now...better hit the sack!
P.S. I was looking through some old photos of the kids and the pic above made me laugh. I love the different expressions on both of their little faces. Though I'd share...you know, just for kicks and giggles. - Me"